The big lesson for today is understanding how to create marketing that crosses the goal line.  What I mean is, in many cases marketing will get somebody to a certain point in the process and then not create the final and necessary steps to score (a.k.a. get the prospect to take action).

Using a football metaphor, it’s similar to getting to the five yard line and then not being able to get a touchdown.  All the work to get them to a certain point has been done, but not the necessary final push to score.

In my pile of mail today, I received a piece of mail that exemplifies this short-coming.  Let’s walk through both the letter and the envelope it came in. The blue notes are my notes to you to illustrate the good and bad points

When I received this envelope, it looked very personal (except for the indicia) which gave it away as business mail.  The envelope was hand-written in real handwriting, taking it to the 5 yard line, but then the company used an indicia versus a live stamp, which prevented the score. Even though this was a mistake the marketer receives a B+ for effort.  Now let’s look at the letter.

This letter is a classic example of doing a few good things, but several really dumb things that negate all the good work.  First the good things:

• Personalization increases response and increases conversion.

• Hand-signed signature conveys a real “me to you” letter so it appears to be coming from a real person.

Unfortunately, that’s about it for good techniques.  Now for the bad…

• Logo at top of letter tells me right way this is not personal correspondence (I wonder why they can afford a color logo, but not “real” printing for the envelope?)

• Copy is very weak and is classic, corporate-style copy.  It’s all about them and not my pains and concerns.  When writing copy, always keep your prospect and his pains in mind.  Remember, your reader is always thinking W.I.I.F.M – “what’s in it for me?”

• No strong call to action.  No urgency.  All he is doing is warning me that he’s going to call.  It would have been much better if he gave me the opportunity to raise my hand and request information from him.

• Telling me to visit their Web site without giving me a reason to visit is worthless and a waste of prime copy real estate.

• Other side of the letter was completely blank and could have been used for testimonials, etc.

So there you have it.  A business to business letter that had the makings of a pretty decent direct mail package that fails to cross the goal line.

If you’re going to do the hard work of marketing your product or service, make sure you go follow through and create marketing that grabs attention and converts.

Remember, getting all the way to the five yard line, regardless of how you got there, doesn’t count for anything!

Click on the link to download a PDF of this direct mail marketing envelope and letter example.